Acne, prevention is better than cure..

Sometimes, I really think the word ACNE, has been used too randomly.
People like to exaggerate on their pimples, always referring to little zits here and there as ACNE?

I have spent my very unfruitful days at home watching youtube, and I happened to see so many video clips on,
"how i clear my acne"
"my fights with acne"
acne this acne that.
And when I click on the video to watch....
These people have one of the most amazing skin, and I seriously cannot imagine how they can start their clips with,
"my acne regime"????

Anyway, so, after browsing through like tonnes of the video clips, I guess maybe I can just list down the few items that seem to work miracle on those youtubers, and share it here with all of you. So as to save all of you the trouble of watching all those flawless skin people telling you on, "my skincare regime to combat acne"???!
And to make it short and precise, just incorporate an acne treatment product into your skincare regime. Anything from these:

- Kiehl's Acne Blemish Control Treatment
- Peter Thomas Roth Acne Clearing Gel
- Mario Madescu Anti-Acne Serum
- Dr. Murad Acne Treatment Gel
- La-Roche Posay Effaclar K
- Dermalogica Overnight Clearing Gel

These products can be drying on the skin, so just be sure to use a good serum over it, preferably, a vitamin C serum or anything that promises renewal of skin.
OR, a hydrating moisturiser will do just fine.

See.I manage to sum up a good "acne" fighting regime without much hassle.

It's like rojak in my head now.

I have so much of mix feelings these days.
I look at life with so much negativity, I think it just makes me look like a grumpy old lady.
I complain and complain. Yack and yack for hours about how miserable I feel. How life aint treating me fairly.
I look around, I compare, and I feel sorry for myself.
Being sorry for myself, just aint doing me any good. I feel even worse off.

It is so bad to the extend, I prefer to go out alone. Unless I'm accompanied by really good and close friends, if not, I'd really rather be alone, shopping, watching movie, etc.
I hate it that I need to act like I'm so happy, I need to fake a smile every now and then, so that people don't feel irritated by me grieving over the past.
Doing things alone, I can pause awhile, stare into space, allow myself to digest some of the facts in life. Some of the happenings. Some of the truth. ....I have been running away from.

The echoing of a great friend's advice, is still very fresh in my mind.
" You need to be honest to yourself. Face the truth. Suffer from the hurt. And then you will heal."

Is it really true, that when we start changing our perspective about life, about misfortune that befalls us, we will be happier, and live a more fruitful life? Looking at everything bad into something to be joyful about?

My bestfriend believes that everything happens for a reason.
My religious friend believes everything happens for a cause. KARMA.

It would be more comforting to hold on to the former, than to the latter. Cause then, I will feel even more miserable, thinking and reflecting on what have I done to deserve all that is happening now.

Talking bout perspective.

Was my bday few days ago. I did not have any celebrations. I work late.
I felt so upset.
I had to literally beg a friend to take dinner with me.
I kept going about it...that my bday is so pathetic.
Finally, I guess my friend couldn't keep her patience, she questioned me,
"do u realise, you are very pessimistic?"
"I am eating with u now, and I'm buying u dinner with a slice of cake"

Yes. I failed to see that, on a brighter side, I had tonnes of friends wishing me. And at least, I had a friend who was willing to take dinner with me, and I had a slice of my favourite chocolate indulgence!!

I can't live like this forever. I need help.

Disappointed.

I am so disappointed with friends around me now.
Is it true that people move on to a different direction at certain point in life? And forget their friends whom they used to laugh and talk to everyday?
I feel hurt that sometimes, approaching close friends to talk, just simply lead them to misunderstand me as having "issues" to talk about.
Can't I chat with them if I am free, and so happen to see them on MSN?

My mere "Hi!" or "Hey" or "Hello"
received response like this, "Now what?" or worse still, "what do you want?"

I believe so much that I am blessed with great friends, and now I come to realization, people change. They move forward. And it is me, the only one, who chooses to so stubbornly stand at the same spot.

Where have I been

I haven't been updating my blog for a very long time, I know.
Wasn't really in the mood to do so.
When I tried to log in, I was actually wondering whether my username and password can still be used....

I dont know whether it's just me being ungrateful, or it is true that I am plain unlucky in life.
As hard as I tried to prove myself worthy of my existence in the office, or rather, as a team member, I realise, conflict arises wherever I go. Many times I tried to reflect on mistakes, and unfortunate situation that befalls me, I dont go about pointing fingers blaming on one party. However, no matter how hard I tried to work, and amend mistakes, I don't think I was given the fair chance to redeem myself. I feel so demotivated.
Sometimes, I really can't justify working over weekends and late nights, right after being told off that I would be evaluated badly for mistakes I made because I wasn't competent enough during work. Sometimes I wonder, do people even evaluate themselves first, to see whether they themselves, give clear and proper guidance. To take a minute, step back and recall that once, they were just the same. As blur as I am now. As inefficient as I am now.

It truly amazes me, how people can change as they slowly gain recognition and position. From low level assoicate to senior, and eventually to assistant manager, manager, and so on. When they finally comprehend the entire situation, and understand everything on how a company works, they forget that there are lower level associates who have not achieved THEIR level of understanding YET, due to lack of experience. These associates will be just as good as THEM given the amount of time, proper guidance and exposure. I dare say, maybe even better than these bunch of high level people who apparently forget how they, as human, made mistakes too.

I hate people who take conflict during work so personally, they go all out to make your life miserable.

Very much like a robot

I wake up everyday, going about the same routine.
Stare at the ceiling for some time, before I drag myself out from bed, get ready for work, stare again into my cupboard with almost not many work attires to choose from.
Since when have I stopped having interest in clothes? I have been so occupied with work, shopping has been the last thing on my mind.
Everyday,I constantly complain like a machine, tuned to go about grumbling bout the same issue over and over. I hate my life, I find fault with myself, I allow myself to go deeper and deeper into miseries, I have lost control over my own emotion. And days after days, I hate myself for becoming someone I didn't know I could be. A personality I never thought existed in myself all this while.
What happen to that happy-go-lucky girl?
What happen to the girl who used to be so contented with life, she didn't think she needed any changes at all?
What happen to the girl who loved going out, be it late night parties, or just occasional drinking sessions?
What happen to the girl who made shopping the ultimate love of her life?
WHAT HAPPEN TO ME?

Trying so hard each day, to patch my life back, bit by bit, it is painful, tiring and very mentally exhausting. All the confusions I have inside myself, my bundled up emotions, the emotional baggage I carry, and the drifting thoughts I have, I don't know where my life is leading to.

I guess I have made history in my life by exhausting friends of their patience to console me, to comfort me, and to tell me, everything will be ok.
I feel so miserable deep inside. With all the unachieved dream I have. All the hope and effort I put into things I do, leading to negative consequences in the end.
As much as I want to lead a simple and normal life, there is just the greed in me, that yearns for something more.

Life is so frustrating when one after another events happen, making me understand that,
"EVERY SUCCESS COMES WITH HARDWORK. BUT NOT EVERY HARDWORK ENDS WITH SUCCESS."

Ning and her awesome friends

After realising I have more than half of my friends being "banana", and by me moving my blog to a 100% chinese writing blog, I seem to have really achieved my objective in stopping friends to read bout my personal life.
But then again, it pretty much look to me that I am in control of what to blog. So, I guess, my move to close down this blog permanently is not that wise after all.
Therefore, I plan to continue blogging here..

I went to Singapore for a short trip. For many reasons I do not want to disclose here, but of course, one very obvious reason, is to spend time with my bestfriend, Ning.

In this picture, there are four of us, with the other two being Ning's very good friends, who happened to make my stay in Singapore an awesome one too. Besides them, I have my very own best roommate, Yin Tee jie, and best college mate, Wei Jian, who took the trouble to meet up with me, and ensure my trip there was a splendid one too.

I am glad that I have such great friends, I am starting to think, life isn't treating me that bad after all.

Moved.

I have moved to another blog.
It is somewhere very few of you would expect me to end up.
If you are a loyal reader of mine, and would like to follow my blog (provided you understand what I write in my new blog..:-p) , do send me a message at:
erny_tan87@hotmail.com
to request for my new blog link.

Thank you.
and till then, take care.