Thursday, July 16, 2009

Surprise me to see this..

I used to blog in friendster before I started out blogging in blogspot instead.
Surprise me that, after so long, and forgetting what i had been writing there..someone link me over to my long forgotten diary...
This is a cut and paste of it:

"Girls rulezzz….!!!
Recently, I met up with 2 old friends… and we talked about lots of things, about life, and studies. About, past, present and future. It’s funny how people often pose me this question, "Are you stil single?", and their response will always be the same to my answer, "Why??", "How come"??….haha…yes,I am stil single, and so what if I am stil single.People view life as…to grow up, study hard, have a gf, marry, have a career, have kids, and you will have a perfect life. Well, I have a different view towards my life. But I ain’t going to leak anything about my plans, just yet.Yes, I admit, having a perfect bf is every girls’ dream. To meet their prince charming, and to have him sweep you off the ground. But, the truth is, there is no prince charming. This world is full of, either too manipulative guys, or too dumb guys….and nothing in between.I stil remember how I often explain it, over and over again to my mum, and friends, that I have yet to come by someone that fits my bill….someone fluent in English (preferably Eng ed),musically inclined, filial son, gentleman, and posses brains at least enough to gain respect from society. And, I will always remember how my mum always says, IN YOUR DREAMS!!Yaya…better in my dreams than to hook up with people just for the sake of getting a companion.Ning always tell me, that I am in the wrong place, at the wrong time. That TARC is not a place for me. Hm….maybe I should have accepted my dad’s offer to change to Sunway…haha…maybe my prince charming is there??…..But, who cares, to me, the most important thing, is to be happy with what I have now. And, I do thank god, for everything I have now.I read, in someone’s profile, that " Friends are forever, and guys are whatever"….hey! A very good saying indeed!!!
So, yay! To my "ji mui", esp the one with the most probs with her bf…..don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Don’t let him determine where your life should lead to. This is the world where girls rule now!!"

I must admit. For me to read that again..I am filled with embarrassment. How could I write such a thing without even putting myself to test..on whether I'm able to walk the talk.
I remember telling my friends who are unhappy in their relationship, to just dump THE guy, and move on. There are so many fishes in the sea. There are so many trees in the forest.
Why be with someone who doesn't appreciate u?
Why put up with a jerk?
Why deprieve yourself of knowing better guys?
Why make yourself so worthless?
Can you believe it? It all came from ME!! ME!! ME!!
I wonder..will I ever be able to think like that again?
I search deep into myself...keep asking myself with tonnes and tonnes of questions...with no answers at all.
Why do i feel like I have been badly defeated now?
Why do i feel like I am no more myself?
Will i ever wake up one day...and be able to think out of the box instead?

I love reading Xiaxue's blog...and here is a quote from one of her recent blog that enables me to see hope in my own life.

"One day just snapped out of it and realised that I'm at least worth a guy committing to me instead of just playing me around. A man who'd love me and think I'm perfect. Not a man who thinks the next girl might be better or more suitable for him than me.Fuck that shit. I fucking had enough of JERKS who think they are all that! I'd rather be single than be treated like a dispensable and slightly used plastic fork!"

1 comment:

KiatChui said...

hahaha... i hope you can come to your senses RIGHT NOW! sometimes i just dont want to hurt you but i think we really muntah darah inside. i guess Ning is the same also. lol.