Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Living with man-eater.

How much do you trust your friends?
Trust them, that they will not betray you?
Trust that they will side you?
Trust that they will not take away what is rightfully yours?
Most importantly, trust that they will not meddle with your love life?

I used to believe so.
Used to be that naive.
To think that this world is filled with blissful angels.
But, then again...
I look back into life...
I see the cruel facts...
Fatcs about my friends...

Do they really care about me?
Do they really mean what they say?
Do they really do it, because of me, and not for their own advantage?

Song once told me.....
"No matter how much you trust someone, just make sure you keep secrets of yours to yourself. And only yourself. This is to protect yourself. Take my advice."

I thought he was in a post breakup mental state, that's what made him merepek so much.
But, now I thank him for his advcie. It's a good piece of I finally manage to comprehend the turth....

The truth that I'm living among

Girls...they can be pleasant, can be just anything....not involving guys.
But when it's a case of you, your friend and a guy, trust me, even the bestest of friend, just might get into gruesome catfights.

I thought I was being trying to heal my friend's broken heart. (she got dump).
I did everything I could to cheer her up. Asked her out for all-girls outings...put on the best makeup for her, choosed the nicest clothes for her....I was sincered in what I was doing.
I honestly wanted to just help.

But life took a cruel turn for me. Not only did she stand up again, with more self-esteem....and confidence, she took away the guy I once like. All attention was shifted to her. All my guy friends took notice of her.
She flirted with the guy I like, without the least consideration of how I would feel. (was I surprised? Not really....somehow...I could sense it coming)
And when she's at the winning point, she tried acting blissful, arranging a badminton session for me to play with a macho guy, whom she likes! (Not I like pun)
Using me as a bait (I wasn't aware), she got the attention of that guy too.
(Am I jealous of it? Nope. I really have no interest in that guy)

Now, I look back, and ask myself, why?
Why must it be...that I need to learn to distrust others?
Why can't friends learn to not mess with others' life?

If she's the only living being that tore me up unsrupulously,I won't be much bothered.
But, to my utter disappointment, I have started to unmasked one by one, faces of selfish, self-centred people living behind hidden mask of innocent looking, lovely people.

Am I that angelic? NO!
Then what rights do i have to complain?
-I really, really,really, did everything for my friends out of sincerity. It's just that I never expected myself to be paying such a high price for it.

Do I regret what I'v done?
-at times...yes....but mostly, I prefer to think positively (hope it helps)

So, to my dear readers out there, listen to Song's certainly would bring more benefit than harm to you.


Su-Li said...

Haha...hope I'm not one of them! Coz i dun wan 2 be that kind of gal lor... Guess i noe how hurts it is like when other gals take away the one u really like n care! But well... have to leave with this kind of people lar... no choice! The world is no more fair de...

kevinpnp said...

Well... it depends how you see the world... There's still wonderful places in the world...

Erny said...

why can't you for once agree with what i say?

Andrew LD said...

dont worry...dont give up...hold on....the process of badness or scares of what u went tru is only to prepare u and make u stronger for the future. u need to go tru that. glad u clear things out for your own. but dont make perception of life yet too soon yaa...take care...

jennykoo said...

Wow... Hey gal, I'm really sorry for what happened to you! :( I know some friends are super competitive when there's absolutely no need to be! There's completely no regard for friendship. Some people are naturally backstabbers and at least this situation made you see what kind of person she really really is, so you didn't end up trusting her with something bigger.